A Sensitive Topic

August 26, 2019

Fluffy Kitten Party

“I know this is a sensitive topic,” you say to me as I sit on your examination table.

Don’t go there, please don’t go there, can we just get through one appointment without this conversation? We had this conversation last time and it was so awful it had me in frustrated tears for hours after my appointment. 

But you go there anyway.

“We need to talk about your weight.”

I’m at this appointment because something is happening with my legs. One of my legs has gotten so swollen and painful that it sometimes interferes with my mobility. It has begun to keep me from doing things I want to do, like taking walks with my husband, going to the park with my dog, or even just walking through the grocery store without pain. I am terrified it is a blood clot because I am on hormonal birth control and traveled on…

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Accessibility Or Luxury? It’s a Matter of Perspective.

July 9, 2019


What if your luxury is my accessibility? What if the things you deem extras are essentials to me?

I am a disabled woman. To be more specific, I am both visibly (I am a non-ambulatory wheelchair user) and invisibly disabled (multiple disabilities which are not apparent by looking at me).

People routinely argue with, ignore and deny my accessibility needs for my visible and invisible disabilities. More importantly so do the politicians we elect, the governments they form and the experts they consult with and who I am forced to deal with because they are given gate-keeping and decision-making power over my life.

All of them keep several bingo cards worth of excuses on hand for why my or any other disabled person’s accessibility need(s) can’t be met.

The needs vary but the excuses rarely do.

I am also poor. This is not uncommon for disabled people, especially disabled women…

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A Simple Mental Health Pain Scale

November 11, 2018

The Graceful Patient

A good friend pointed out, after my last post on the importance of physical pain scale accuracy, that we lack decent ways to communicate our mental health pain scale.

Exactly like physical health, mental health pain is more about the level of distress it’s causing us than the injury itself. The reason we treat pain isn’t because it hurts. It’s because it’s distressing to us.

The brain doesn’t differentiate between physical pain and mental pain. In fact, this is a big reason why they try to get chronic pain patients to tackle existing mental health problems (whether they’re caused by the chronic health conditions or not). Central nervous system sensitisation can make us more sensitive to perceiving pain. Right now, we believe that chronic, severe pain doesn’t actually make us more tolerant to pain. It makes us less tolerant, and oversensitive to it.

You can imagine how well that goes…

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Foundational Self-Care. Let’s Get This Party Started!

August 10, 2018

When Old Comforts Bite.

May 19, 2018

Writers, this is an important post and I hope you consider it when writing characters that are very different from you in one or more ways.

About that Writing thing.

I’m anxious today and as is my habit I turned to an old fave audiobook for comfort. If you know me you probably already know that the Gunslinger is one of my favorite worlds and I put on the audiobook as done by one of my favorite narrators.

I started up the Drawing of the Three (*amazon affiliate links in the house) and for a while enjoyed it.

Until as with so many of Kings other books, somebody had to go on a nigger rant. In audio it’s fucked. There was another of the series I was listening to and it was a good solid five minutes of nigger nigger nigger and y’all. I took a deep breath and turned it off.

This is the type of moment when being a fan of color really fucking sucks. This is something a lot of fans, especially White fans just will never…

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Forced Intimacy: An Ableist Norm

August 30, 2017

So true to my experience and that of other people I know. I hope this inspires would-be allies to speak out against these intrusions on our boundaries, autonomy and basic dignity.

What Even Is SCLAB?

July 10, 2017

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